(this was also published on Goodreads and —- spoiler alert)

Imagine a world where the guy downing corn chips and spending 20+ hours logged into a videogame ends up winning the inheritance of the richest man on earth. And that he is able to do this because of his wide breadth of knowledge about 80’s pop culture and his years of time spent mastering Atari games. Oh yeah- he also gets the girl at the end who barely loses to him and who happens to be just as beautiful as her avatar (and he gets to be as ugly as he wants in real life, nbd).

Among the many quotes on the back of the book extolling its virtues, John Scalzi writes that it’s a “nerdgasm” and that’s pretty much how I felt about it the whole time. Reading this book made me feel like I was squishing my way through someone’s nerdgasm. Someone with poor hygiene.

Now imagine reading 370 pages of written narration of someone playing a videogame- with enough detail that you might be able to replicate the game moves if you ever needed to. I skipped over pages at a time that could have been replaced with “And then I got the sword” or whatever.

This book was obviously not written for me. It was written for guys my age (grew up in the 80’s) who have embraced their videogame obsession and haven’t totally gotten a grasp of what makes a plot sexist. Those guys might care about the details of what buttons the main character pushed to do what and actually roll their eyes if the author got something wrong ( I mean… heaven forbid the story would be unrealistic).

I am SO glad I’m done with it and I’m sad it took me all of December to read it. GAME OVER!!