It’s a Wednesday morning and I don’t have to go to any kind of job today. I’m hooked up to a breast pump and I’m listening to my son coo at his dad and our visiting relatives in the next room. And I want to remember, in the coming Wednesday mornings when I will have to go to a job… that in this moment, I’m anxious. I hold the same anxiety on my shoulders that I’ll hold when I have to go back to work. It’s not the work that will be the cause of my anxiety- it’s something inside me. And there must be some way to not feel anxious now- on a day “off” and, the same way, there must be a way to not feel anxious on a day “on.” I’m still looking for that some way.

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