Woke up this morning panicking for a variety of reasons and ended up deciding to get up early to spend some active time chilling the f*** out. I swept off the balcony this weekend with the intention of making the it more accessible to me for chill-out time. I’m going to try it out as a little haven/sanctuary place. I’m already an anxious person so the new crazy-pants preggy hormones are just a new thing I have to add to my juggling act. I was only out there 5 minutes but I think it helped. I’m testing to see how long I can keep the balcony swept up and semi-usable as a sitting area. If I can keep it up until March 17th, maybe I’ll let myself go buy a plant.

And yes, by “keep it up,” I just mean sweeping the leaves and other tree-droppings off the ground. I need small, measurable, goals apparently.

When we first moved here, I was so excited about having a balcony and a place where I could grow plants that I bought a few plants… I wasn’t so into keeping them watered and/or thinking about them at all so they subsequently died.

Someone gave me a violet plant for my birthday which has miraculously survived an entire year inside on the kitchen counter. I jumped for joy when it sprouted new blooms a few weeks ago. This is more of a statement on the resilience of violets than it is of my plant-tending abilities…. but nonetheless, it has given me a sparkle of hope that I may be able to keep something alive out on my balcony/sanctuary/haven thingy.

But then again- do I really need to look for more things to be responsible for?